President Obama’s Inauguration Speech Interrupted by JackHammer

If you were there, in Washington, D.C., on the National Mall, you heard it.  If you were one of the lucky ones to get tickets for seats that were up-close and personal — and actually made it past the security check points — then you really heard it.  As an “almost eye witness” to the event (I got stuck at a check point on Capitol Hill and ended up listening to the speech from the radio of a Volkswagon Bus with other disappointed ticket holders) I still heard it.  If you were watching on TV you may have missed, but we are “here” to tell you it happened.  Remember Viscapers, you heard it here first!

Viscape NewsFlash: Inauguration Address Ruined by Jackhammering.

President Obama’s Inauguration Day address was ruined by thirty minutes of jackhammering.

According to “ear”-witnesses (Americans who trekked from all over the country to hear the speech), the jackhammering interrupted the landmark address on 100 separate occasions and came from the nearby U.S. Capitol, where workers were trying to break up pavement that George W. Bush deemed unsightly and dangerous.  Was this one of President’s Bush’s final attempts to undermine the democratic process?  We will never know.

“My fellow-,” began President Obama.  He stopped, distracted by loud, metal-on-concrete banging. “My fell…my fell…my-.”

Obama annoyed early on in the speech.

“Is that a jackhammer?” Obama questioned.    Pan to the gallery crowd behind President Obama and you could literally see Bush smirking in his seat.

Obama first acknowledged the incessant jack hammering with a joke: “Well, I know one guy who doesn’t need a job.”  But the typically poised and charismatic orator grew more annoyed as it became clear that the shrill thumping was not going to stop…Again, pan to the gallery crowd – Both Laura and George chuckling and whispering to each other behind Obama’s back.

The gallary at the Capitol.  Can you see Bush smirking about the jackhammer?

“If the person currently operating the jackhammer can hear me, please stop.  Please CHANGE what you are doing,” Obama said at the eight-minute mark of his speech. “Seriously, please. Stop it now.”

During a particularly loud spell of thuds and grinds, Obama whispered under his breath, “Oh, come on.”

At one point during the address (you couldn’t see this on television because of the satellite time delay), Obama stopped talking entirely and walked off the stage for nearly two minutes.

Those in attendance agreed that it was nearly impossible to make out a single sentence of the historic address.

“I came to the inauguration for inspiration and hope and I wanted to leave the speech with a feeling that this man was a beacon of hope, that he was going to lead us out of the doldrums and into a bold new beginning,” said Nathaniel Washburn, a 72-year-old African-American who brought his grandchildren to the inauguration. “But I couldn’t hear a goddamn thing.”

If you did not make the trek to D.C. for the historic day, don’t fret: what you saw and heard on TV was better than what those who were there heard.  We suspect it was Cheney and Rumsfeld taking turns with the jackhammer.

Parts of this story quoted and credited to “The Onion.”  To the Onion – thanks for making us laugh!

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